Relvay makes a pregnancy pillow. We also tell you below when you should not buy one.
The short answer
Before you lend a pregnancy pillow, photograph every part, hand over the care label, and agree how it will be cleaned and when it comes back. Check it against the photos on return.
- Write it down: parts, condition, care rules.
- Agree up front: who cleans it, how, and the return date.
- Check on return: parts, cover fit, smell, seams.
Why do lent pregnancy pillows come back wrong?
Usually because nobody wrote down what was lent. Small parts go missing, covers get washed the wrong way, and both people remember the pillow's condition differently.
Thursday, 9:30 p.m.
My son was five months old when my friend Dani got pregnant and could not sleep. I handed her my pillow in its big bag, so happy to help. "Keep it as long as you need."
It came back eight months later, folded neatly, freshly washed. That night I took it out. The strap that joined the two halves was gone. The cover had been washed hot and would not zip over the inner anymore. Dani had no idea there had been a strap. I had never told her.
I was not angry with her. I was annoyed with myself. I had lent a pillow with no list, no label and no plan.
"The fact that you can strap the belly support pillow to the back support pillow is essential to why this works so well. Everything stays where you put it."Amazon review of a pregnancy pillow
The small parts are often what makes a pillow work. They are also what gets lost first.
What should you record before you lend it?
Record the model, every part, the current condition and the care label. Photos on your phone, shared with the borrower, are enough.
- Lay out every part and take one photo of them all together: main pillow, extra cushions, straps, inserts, spare cover, storage bag.
- Photograph the tag: brand, model, any lot code, and the care instructions.
- Photograph what is already wrong: marks, worn patches, a sticky zip. This protects both of you.
- Pass on the instructions. A manual, the maker's web page, or a photo of the label. If you only have a video of how it goes together, send that.
- Send everything in one message so it is easy to find in eight months.
| On the sheet | Example |
|---|---|
| Model | Two-part wedge set, tag photo attached |
| Parts | 2 wedges, 1 strap, 1 small cushion, storage bag |
| Condition now | Light mark on one wedge, zip fine |
| Care | Cover: per label. Inner: per label, do not machine wash if it says spot clean |
| Return | By [date] or when you stop using it, whichever comes first |
| Cleaning before return | Agreed below |
What should you agree on before you hand it over?
Agree on three things out loud: how it gets cleaned, when it comes back, and what happens if something breaks or goes missing.
- Cleaning: follow the label only. If you would rather wash it yourself when it comes back, say so. Many people prefer that.
- Return: a date or a trigger, like "when the baby arrives" or "before you move".
- Breakage: a missing strap or a ruined cover happens. Decide now if you will replace it, split it or let it go.
- Gift or loan: if you do not need it back, say it is a gift. That is a kind and clear choice too.
This is a friendly agreement, not a contract. And nobody should feel they have to use a pillow that does not suit them. If it is not working for your friend, a quick "no worries, send it back" is part of the deal.
Washing at home cleans fabric, but it is not a guarantee of hygiene. If either of you is uneasy about sharing bedding, a separate cover for the borrower is a simple fix.
How do you check the pillow when it comes back?
Open your handover photos and compare: parts, cover fit, smell, seams and filling. Do it the day it comes back, while it is easy to ask a question.
- Count the parts against the photo.
- Fit the cover back on. If it will not close, it may have shrunk in the wash.
- Smell and squeeze the thickest part. Cool, heavy or musty means it is not fully dry.
- Check seams and zips on the inner pillow for gaps or leaking filling.
- Note what changed and keep the note with the pillow.
Shrunk cover? See pregnancy pillow cover no longer fits after washing. Damp or musty? Dry it fully before storing, and see how to wash a pregnancy pillow.
Jessa found the strap two weeks later in Dani's car. The cover she replaced. The next time she lent the pillow, it went with a photo of every part and one line under the care label: "Cover only, cold wash, I will do the rest." It came back complete.
Frequently asked questions
Is it okay to lend a pregnancy pillow?
Yes, many people pass pillows between friends and family. It goes better when you share the parts list, the care label and a return plan before it leaves your house.
Should I wash a pregnancy pillow before lending it?
Wash the cover the way its label says so it goes out clean. Only wash the inner pillow if the label allows it, and dry everything fully.
Who should wash the pillow when it comes back?
Agree that before you lend it. Many lenders prefer to wash it themselves, following the label, so nothing gets washed the wrong way.
What if a part goes missing?
Check if the maker sells it separately. If not, a regular pillow can sometimes do the same job. Decide up front how you will handle it so nobody feels awkward.
Can a borrowed pregnancy pillow be used for the baby later?
No. A pregnancy pillow is adult bedding. Keep it for the adult who is sleeping on it, and follow the maker's instructions for any other use.
If you would rather not lend your own
Relvay does not make a long body pillow, so we cannot replace one like for like. If your friend needs bump and back support and you would rather keep yours, the Relvay 3-Piece is a small two-wedge set with a strap. It comes new with its own instructions, and it suits side sleepers sharing a full or queen bed. If your long pillow is working well for both of you, lending it is the better plan.
Two wedges for bump and back, joined by a flat strap, about as wide as your torso. Keep a regular pillow between your knees. $79.99, 90-day returns.
Taking in someone else's pillow instead? Our used pregnancy pillow condition checklist is written for the receiver.
Jessa's story is a composite based on real reviews and public posts from pregnant and new parents. Names and details are changed.
