Relvay makes a pregnancy pillow. We also tell you below when you should not buy one.
The short answer
Test the pillow as a pair, for a week, and change one thing at a time. Fit on paper is only the start. What breaks a shared bed is blanket tug, where each person can lie, and a pillow that drifts across the middle.
- Night 1 to 2: no changes, just notes.
- Night 3 to 6: blankets, sides, layout.
- Night 7: keep what both of you rated better.
1:30 a.m., and he is on the couch again
Most couples do not fall out over a pregnancy pillow in one night. It happens slowly: a blanket pulled one way, an elbow in the pillow, one person giving up and leaving. This is how it went for Bethany.
1:30 a.m.
I was 31 weeks. Owen and I share a queen, and for the first time in four years I woke up and his side was empty. The blanket was on the floor on his side, half of it still wrapped around my pillow.
I found him on the couch with a throw over his legs. He said, “It’s fine, you need the space.” He meant it kindly. I went back to bed and cried into a pillow the size of a person, because I had wanted to sleep better, not alone.
The pillow itself was comfortable. That was the strange part. My body was happier. Our bed was worse.
- If your partner now sleeps on the last few inches of the mattress...
- If you wake up with the blanket gone, or with all of it...
- If you miss falling asleep with someone's arm over you...
- If one of you has quietly started using the couch...
Neither of you is being difficult. A pregnancy pillow changes the whole bed, and nobody tests it that way.
“This is great if you have the whole bed to yourself. My partner complains I take up too much of the bed rolling over.”YouTube comment
“I had previously bought one of those giant, bulky oval-shaped pregnancy pillows and was totally not a fan (and neither was my husband based on how much space it took up on the bed)”Amazon review of a pregnancy pillow
What most couples try first
Most couples try squeezing in, sleeping apart, or ditching the pillow. Each one fixes one person's night and costs the other.
- Owen sleeping on the edge.He lay on his side facing out, one arm hanging off the mattress. He was up at six with a stiff shoulder and no idea how he had slept at all.She had the space. He paid for it.
- One shared blanket over both of them.The pillow sat under half of it, so every time she moved, the blanket went with her and he woke up cold.The blanket became the fight, not the pillow.
- Owen on the couch “just for a few weeks.”Both of them slept. Neither of them liked it. She stopped saying good night properly because he was already in the other room.Sleep came back. Being close did not.
- No pregnancy pillow, Owen back in bed.Her regular pillows slid into his side by 2 a.m., and her hips ached by morning.Together again, but she was sleeping badly.
Why is sharing a bed with a pregnancy pillow so hard?
Because a pregnancy pillow changes three things in a shared bed at once: how much space is left, how the blanket lies, and what drifts into the other person's half during the night.
SpaceA big pillow takes your half and often some of theirs, so your partner ends up on the edge.
The blanketA shared blanket lying over a tall pillow gets pulled tight. One of you ends up uncovered.
DriftLoose pillows and long pillows move as you turn, and they drift toward the middle of the bed.
Most guides only measure the first one. A pillow can fit your half on paper and still lose the blanket war at 2 a.m.
A shared bed is not a size problem. It is a two-person problem, so it has to be tested by two people.
The week-long trial below is what got Owen back in bed. Run it first, because it costs nothing. Then I will show you the change that finally made it stick.
Why does sharing a bed get harder later in pregnancy?
Because more of the night now runs on side sleeping and pillows. From the third trimester the NHS advises going to sleep on your side, and suggests supporting your bump and putting a pillow between your knees.
That is more bedding in the bed, and more turning and getting up during the night. Your partner's sleep changes too, often without anyone saying so. That is why it helps to measure both nights, not just yours.
How do you run a two-person pillow trial?
Give it seven nights and change one thing at a time, so you know what helped. Each morning, both of you score the night from 1 to 5 and write one line.
| Night | What you change | She notes | He or they note |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 to 2 | Nothing. Sleep as you do now. | Score, wake-ups, where the pillow ended up | Score, how close to the edge, blanket or not |
| 3 | Two separate blankets or sheets | Warmer or cooler? Easier to turn? | Stayed covered? |
| 4 | Swap sides of the bed | Easier to get up? | Woken by her getting up? |
| 5 | Pillow layout: bulky part behind her, against her own edge | Supported enough? | Anything in my half by morning? |
| 6 | Ten minutes of falling asleep close, then settle into your own spots | Did it help me relax? | Did it help me relax? |
| 7 | Keep every change you both scored higher | Score | Score |
- Draw a line down the middle of the bed in your head. Each morning, note if any pillow crossed it.
- Score honestly. A partner who says “fine” every morning should give a number instead.
- Stop a change that makes either score drop by two points.
If the line keeps getting crossed by night five, the layout has done what it can. The pillow is too big for a shared bed. For the tape-measure part, see pregnancy pillow for a small bed.
When is it time to change the pillow, not just the bed setup?
When the trial shows the pillow itself is pushing your partner out. Tick the ones that showed up in your diary:
- Some of the pillow crossed into their half most mornings.
- Your partner's score stayed at 2 or lower.
- Separate blankets helped, but they were still on the edge.
- You cannot fall asleep close because the pillow is in the way.
- Someone moved to the couch at least once.
- Your own score drops whenever you go back to regular pillows.
Two or more? The bed setup is not the problem. A smaller pillow that stays on your half is likely worth it. Ongoing hip, pelvic or back pain is worth raising with your midwife or OB-GYN, since a pillow is a comfort aid, not a treatment.
Which type of pregnancy pillow works best in a shared bed?
The one that stays on your half and leaves your partner able to reach you. Here is how the main types usually do in a shared bed.
| Regular pillows | U pillow | Long straight pillow | Two wedges strapped together | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Fits on your half | Drifts | Fills it, often more | Can swing across when you turn | Yes |
| Blanket lies flat over both | Mostly | Tented over the pillow | Mostly | Mostly |
| Partner can hold you | Yes | Hard, there is a wall | From behind | Yes |
| Bump and back support | With several pillows | Yes | Front only | Both |
“my husband can still cuddle me while I’m using the pillows and that I don’t feel trapped inside the pillows”Pregnancy pillow customer review
What changed when the pillow stayed on her half?
Once nothing crossed the middle of the bed, the other fixes from the trial started working too.
On night five Bethany swapped the big pillow for two small wedges joined by a strap, with a regular pillow between her knees. They kept the two separate blankets from night three.
Owen's score went from 1 to 4. Hers stayed at 4. On night seven he wrote one line in the diary: “Back in bed. Arm over her. Nothing in my half.” She kept the page.
Frequently asked questions
How do you share a bed with a pregnancy pillow?
Keep the pillow on your half, use two separate blankets, and test changes for a week with both of you scoring each night. Change one thing at a time so you know what actually helped.
Will a pregnancy pillow fit in a queen bed with my partner?
It depends on its width. Each person gets about 30 inches of a queen, and a full U pillow is often 28 to 31 inches wide, so a U can take your whole half. Smaller pillows leave room for both of you.
Is it normal for a partner to sleep elsewhere during pregnancy?
Many couples try it for a while. If you both want to stay in the same bed, a week-long trial with separate blankets and a smaller pillow layout often helps more than sleeping apart.
Can my partner still cuddle me with a pregnancy pillow?
With a large U, it is hard because the pillow sits between you. Smaller pillows that support your bump and back leave room for your partner to lie close behind or in front of you.
Should we use separate blankets?
It is worth trying for a night or two. A blanket lying over a tall pillow gets pulled tight, so one person often ends up uncovered. Separate blankets let each of you move without waking the other.
Where the Relvay 3-Piece pillow fits in
The Relvay 3-Piece is the two-wedge set Bethany switched to on night five. It is built to stay on your half of the bed, so your partner keeps theirs.
1. The bump wedgeA crescent-shaped wedge that tucks under your bump, thin edge toward your belly button, so the weight is not pulling on your back.
2. The back wedgeThe same shape, snug against your lower back so it has something to rest against.
3. The strap and small cushionA flat strap runs under you and joins the two wedges, so they stay together instead of drifting apart. A small oval cushion sits on the strap between them. You can set the distance as the bump grows.
Each wedge is about 17 by 13 inches and about 4 inches thick at its outer edge, tapering thinner toward your body (supplier measurement). Opened out, the set is roughly as wide as your torso, so it stays on your half of the bed and you keep your normal head pillow. Soft ribbed pink fabric on top, white sides. It is small enough to pack for a trip.
What it does not do: it does not go between your knees. Keep a regular pillow there, the way the NHS suggests. That combination covers all three points without a giant pillow.
Probably not for you if
- You sleep alone or in a king bed with plenty of room.
- You want one pillow that also wraps your head and knees.
- Your trial showed the blanket, not the pillow, was the whole problem.
Made for you if
- You ticked two or more boxes above.
- You share a full or queen bed.
- You want bump and back support and your partner close.
Try it for 90 nights
Sleep on it through the weeks that matter. If it is not right for you, email us within 90 days of delivery and send it back for a refund. Return shipping is on you unless it arrived faulty.
$79.99
90-day money-back guarantee · Free US shipping over $70 · 3 pieces, one set
Check price and availabilityBethany's story is a composite based on real reviews and public posts from pregnant side sleepers. Names and details are changed.
